Having a chronic illness and being a student- some tips to help you settle in to uni life

So you've just started university. Freshers is over and you're now settling into lectures, meeting endless new people, and getting used to the new transition in your life. Uni can be hard on people. It's a lot to adapt to and a lot to get used to. There's the pressures around drinking and going out, the new stresses of handling finances and trying to find your place in a sea of new friends.

All of this on top of having a chronic illness to handle can probably feel like too much. Uni might be, for a lot of students, a time of going out, burning the candle at both ends, but also a time of little structure, meaning sleep patterns are all over the place and a routine is almost non-existent.

There are ways of working around this to help you feel more able to have a regular experience as a student, but to also care for yourself properly at the same time. Being a student can be an amazing, exhilarating time and getting the most out of it can be very positive for those of us with chronic health problems.

First of all, even though this sounds like something you're likely to stick to for three days before getting bored- make yourself a sleep schedule. I'm not talking for the night, because I've been to uni and I know nights out and staying up til morning are just part of the package. I mean naps, mornings where you can sleep longer, evenings where you can get a couple of hours before you begin socialising. Just sit down with your timetable and see what you can get out of it. Making the time for naps mean you won't feel like you're just falling asleep when you shouldn't be, or leave you feeling guilty about not getting on with other things. If it's officially nap time, it's nap time!

Tell your friends. Don't try and weather the storm by saying nothing and having people ask you sideways questions about you pulling out of events, needing to stay home and rest or just needing a bit of help with everyday tasks. Bring it up, explain it as much or as little as you want, but at least if you let them know, they are aware there is a problem. Good friends won't judge you on your ability, so there's also a scope for making sure you are settling into the right crowd.

Alert the uni. You may not have a condition that requires adaptations to living space or assistance with classes and getting about, but you never know what they might have to offer you. These aren't just places you go to for taking exams, learning to cook more than pasta and hopefully getting a degree at the end. Universities try and create a life for you, and it's worth looking into their occupational health services and speaking to someone about support. You can often have access to counsellors, which for a lot of people struggling to adapt to this new world you've landed in, could be just what you need.

This might sound a bit out there and like something you wouldn't even want to consider, but is there a society at your campus for people with chronic health conditions? They exist. I've researched it and places have them, if they aren't long standing. If you are the sort of person who might be inclined to set something up, please do. You could be the helping hand a lot of others who are struggling need to start enjoying their life. Meeting like-minded people who can relate to your health, chronic pain and spoonie struggles could make all the difference to your student experience.

I've had a few requests about writing student posts, and hopefully more will follow that will prove helpful, but feel free to request anything in the comments! Good luck students. I envy you, uni really can be the best time of your life.

What uses up your spoons the most?

This is something that for me, has only really become a problem in the last year. It hasn’t been a struggle I have dealt with since my symptoms began, like a lot of other chronic health suffers have, and I am grateful for that at least. I am more tired now than ever, but of course I am, because I now have a demanding job, work hard, have a bustling social life, a relationship and the responsibilities that come with being an adult. Add the chronic health issues into this and it is an exhausting bundle of things.

Living with chronic pain and dealing with an abundance of symptoms every day is incredible, and people who do it, no matter what the parameters of their doing it are, should be rewarded endless praise and support. Not that they need it though, spoonies know they have to live their life, we don’t ask for a medal on a daily basis, we just get on with it.

*Just in case anyone reading is this unaware (like I was until about a year ago) spoonie is a term used to describe people with chronic illness. The idea behind it being that we have a certain number of spoons each day, and these get taken up by various activities until they run out. Once they do run out, essentially the person has little left in the way of energy and tolerance.*

So this is, for me, and I would be interested to hear what others find, the list of things that use the most spoons.

-           Showering

-          Fitting in exercise

-          Commuting home from work

-          Cooking dinner

-          Going out after work

-          Chores (especially hovering, washing and changing bed sheets)

-          Engaging in long conversations, particularly those at work

-          Drying hair

-          Reading (weird, but it exhausts me!)

-          Getting ready for a day/night (hair, clothes, make up etc)

-          Shopping (food or clothes)

My list is getting longer and sometimes I sub things in and out. Showering seems to take up so much energy and the thought of it just makes me want to bury myself in my duvet. I know it is a very popular one among those who are trying to preserve spoons, and to the outside world probably sounds bizarre.

What uses up most of your spoons? 

Staying sane in chronic pain: Having a mental clear out

Chronic pain is a way of life for a lot of people who suffer with it. While there’s a lot of importance in not letting it take over who you are, it’s hard to separate your condition from life itself. I haven’t posted on here for a while, and the reason is that I’ve been increasingly struggling to stay sane in the face of a condition that’s hard to manage and impossible to get a real hold on. It’s not easy to know what to expect, so default feelings turn to worry, worry turns to stress and in time it’s all you become.

This is not a good way to live. While it’s vital to take your condition seriously, and do everything you can to stay in the best health possible, I think the biggest battle is keeping your mind clear and able to function on a normal level.

I had to take a massive step back from everything around me that pointed towards chronic pain, EDS and the illness that’s overshadowed my life for the last few years. I removed Facebook groups from my feed, stopped replying to emails and tweets and moved away from this blog. I concentrated hard on getting a new job, went away on a break with friends, put more time and effort into my other website, and slowly I felt better.

How do you stay sane in chronic pain? How do you keep your mind focused on the light at the end of the tunnel when you can’t see it? I don’t know the whole answer, but I think a lot is about clearing your mind and sweeping aside everything that brings you down. Kind of like having a mental clear out every so often. I don’t want the work I’ve put in on this blog and the community I’ve built online to go to waste, so I will start blogging more regularly again, but I think it’s very important to take some time to try and be you, rather than be a person in chronic pain, and that isn’t always possible when you are surrounded by prompts and reminders.

I was fortunate enough to get away from it all (kind of, we all know you can’t banish pain for a holiday) to an immensely peaceful place and just relax for a couple of weeks recently. I’ve been getting edgy and worried again lately, so in a couple of weeks it’ll be mental clear out time again. I recommend anyone who feels like they are completely drowning to try and do the same. Oh and it’s Friday! So there’s a reason to kick back and take a few deep breaths. Happy weekend spoonies. 

10 simple ways to cheer up and combat stress

Being chronically ill is no laughing matter. It's stressful, tiring, draining, often painful, sometimes expensive, repetitive, frustrating...You could go on and on with the negative talk. However, every so often, I see amazing inspirational stories shared online, by charities or fundraising accounts about how people are getting on with their lives and about incredible achievements.

It's good to have ways to perk yourself up when you're having a bad day (or a bad week) so here's 10 good places to start:

1) Do something therapeutic. Writing is my number one therapy, as you may be able to tell. I write this blog as often as I can , and I also have a lifestyle blog which focuses on other topics. I've found lately that having a really nice notebook to jot down ideas in has motivated me to write more, and this is a big step to feeling refreshed when I'm having a down day, or when my shoulders have been throbbing for ten hours at work.

2) Find an 'easy hobby'. It's all good and well doing something like golf or swimming or taking classes as a hobby to take your mind off of your stresses, but for the chronically ill these kind of things can be a stretch. I've read a bit of stuff about 'laying down hobbies' which sounds like sex, but it actually means things you can just do while lounging on the sofa. My newest hobby is Pinterest. Laying and 'pinning' photos of amazing kitchens and beautiful home decor provides me enough of a distraction to start to feel better about my day. I can also do it in pyjamas in bed or while having a break at work.

3) Go outside. If it's a nice day and you can, go and breathe some outside air, even if only for five minutes.

4) Write a list. When you can't achieve much it's easy to forget about the small things you do get done. A list with even the smallest of tasks on is satisfying to tick off. Shower- TICK.

5) Arrange a moan date. I do this with my friends a lot. We literally gather in my kitchen on a Friday evening to eat food and moan. The moaning soon subsides to laughter and we make each other feel better. If you can't do it in person, do it on Skype! You can even have a glass of wine 'virtually' together.

6) Look into mindfulness. Meditation is something I'm slowly being persuaded to try. I can't say for myself that it's been of help, but my biggest stress is health woes and I've been told by about five different people now that meditation is the answer to feeling calmer. You can get phone apps for it, some for free, so I am going to give it a go. If it's amazing I'll obviously write it on here sometime.

7) Look through old photos. I am addicted to photos and picture albums and even scrolling through tagged photos on Facebook. Looking back on a time or even a single event where you were clearly very happy can remind you that it's not all bad. Good things DO happen.

8) Think about deleting some things that make you stressed. A while ago I culled loads of Facebook I joined about symptoms and illnesses because seeing these everyday on my feed stopped being a form of support and started making me freak out about things I didn't need to. I have re-joined some and found different ones I find more useful and it's much better.

9) Schedule in an hour a few days in advance where you do something for you. A facemask, read for an hour, have a bath, read to your child, go for a walk, online shop, paint your nails, have a nap. Whatever you fancy,

10) Try and have something to look at that cheers you up. Not everyone can continually fill their house with flowers, but what about a framed print with some motivational words? Or even just something funny. Etsy do tonnes of these. This is a personal favourite:

Why a can-do attitude is so important

Battling a chronic illness means that you are constantly faced with  things that you can't do, or join in with or just fear doing. When you are in pain, exhausted, emotionally drained and just generally not feeling well, it can become almost impossible to pick yourself up and go about life in the way you want to.

In some cases, patients are simply too poorly to carry out normal every day tasks, let alone embark on careers, holidays and social events. This is a whole other battle in itself. However, facing an illness where you do have your good days, and you can manage the pain and symptoms to some extent, mean you have these fleeting times of feeling like you can do it. Whatever it is, being traveling, a weekend away, going to work for a full week or just having a night out with friend, you feel able and ready to take it on.

Hypermobility syndrome is a limiting condition, and as I have written many times before, impacts life in a big way for those who have it. It's important when you have plans, no matter how big or small, to plan. You need to ensure you have treatments with you, be it painkillers or a hot water bottle and that you have plenty of support available should you need it. I am a big planner, and it has meant that I have been able to do so much that three years ago, I would have thought impossible.

When I booked a trip to Isle of Skye with my friends, I was in the first instance really excited, and then began to worry. We decided to drive, and believe me, it is FAR. We were in the car for 14 hours going up, with a few stops to eat and stretch. Needless to say, I needed a heat pad, lots of leg room, ibuprofen and some serious relaxation during and after the journey.

Skye is very much a walking and scenery holiday. It's different to anything I would normally do and I accepted from the off I would be limited and went there with a nagging worry that I would really hurt myself or end up laid up in bed with a dislocated hip. However what I also went with was a can-do attitude, good trainers, a list of exercises and knowledge of what I can do and what i can't. Yes, I have to refrain from doing as much as my friends, but I can still do plenty. I can still go on days out and walks and travel around, I just have to do it for me, within my limits. So that's what I did. ( I also looked up and located the nearest A&E, because you know, life and all that.)

I did have to hang around on the side of a giant hill while everyone else went all the way to the top, which wasn't ideal, but I still went, and I still gave it a go and I got to take amazing photos and sort of play in some snow (let's be honest, snow isn't for the hypermobile). I needed help getting down and I had to take painkillers in the evening, but to be honest, I need this most days, sometimes even on stairs, so it wasn't much different.

I went out everyday, walked really far, climbed a bit, tasted whiskey, saw some rainbows, saw an eagle, saw a seal, drank lots of coffee and ate loads and I am so glad I did. I kept check of my joints and pain, used heat when I needed it, luckily had a friend with an electric massager, took hot baths and took everything slowly and carefully.

I mean , there was a hairy moment when I couldn't cross a river (I didn't realise this was going to be necessary as it wasn't on the walk list or map) and I had to rely on the patience and good will of my friends to help me, but despite the ten minutes of joint pain that followed and the back ache that evening, I felt good. Everyone felt a bit like an intrepid explorer, but I felt like I had conquered something more than a 9k trek.

Having an can-do attitude means I think more about things in advance and I come up with ideas of trips I want to do, places I want to go and friends I want to visit. I think foremost about the experience, and then I do the planning and logistics of doing these things with a condition. If I can't do them, i can't do them, at least I have other things floating around my head to keep me going. it'll never stop being frustrating, but it will also never rule my head.

When I was first diagnosed and in constant pain that was managed badly, all I wanted to do was lay in bed or in the bath. I stopped exercising and the idea of going away and being on a plane or in a car was laughable. Now though, I just think 'I can', until I realise I can't, and that's okay. The positive thoughts alone make a big difference. Sometimes just lounging on a sofa in front of a fire is enough of an experience.

5 Things patients of chronic illness do...

From writing this blog, being a patient myself and immersing myself in online and hospital based communities, I have come to learn that there is much more to chronic illness than the condition itself.

1) Educating the educated

Chronic illness can be complicated, and particularly with under-diagnosed/ rare diseases, doctors will often have a gap in their knowledge. In my experience, and I know I am not alone, I often have to give a detailed description of hypermobility syndrome and the symptoms that come with it when I get referred to a new doctor. Obviously specialists will know what they're talking about (you hope) but it becomes the norm to explain your condition to doctors and for them to learn from you.

2) Adapting

You learn to be chronically ill in all situations. On the bus, at work, in the supermarket, looking after kids, having a shower. Every situation becomes adapted to you and your condition, and the adaptions aren't always good. It is however, a massive feat to carry out simple tasks while having a bad day, particularly living with chronic pain. The term 'chronically awesome' is no lie.

3) Forming communities

I didn't know that patient communities existed before I got unwell with hypermobility. Even then, it took me ages to realise there were Facebook groups, charities and forums bursting with information and support. You just type 'hypermobility' into the Facebook search bar and you're met with an abundance of groups and pages. It seems that when people have to really fight something, they fight together. It's been really interesting for me to grow a small community on Twitter off the back of this blog and my timeline is often littered with new information. You can join me on Twitter: @laurenrellis or on Instagram, where there is also a lot of unexpected 'spoonie' action! Larellis9

4) Learning and absorbing

To educate others, patients themselves have to be educated too. This is why communities and the great work done by charities like Ehlers Danlos UK and the Hypermobility Association are so important. Knowing the basis and learning about conditions is half the battle in the beginning. I was letting physios treat me for damaged rotator cuffs, even after they diagnosed me as hypermobile, because I just didn't know anything about it. It's surprising just how much patients learn about themselves and the world of medicine. Surprising in a really, really good way.

5) Generally being heroes

Ask anyone, it's bloody hard being chronically ill. It's hard having a condition that's not widely understood and without a straight forward cure or treatment plan. It takes a strong person to handle these things and they often make a strong person too.

SMARD- Read Louie's story

It's Rare Disease Day next month, which I always try and do a couple of feature posts on. They are of course usually about EDS or HMS, but this time it's something different.

This post is about Louie, the smiley little boy below.

Louie is almost three years old. He is son to Natalie and Reece and very proud older brother to Charlie. He like watching Disney films, being read to, going swimming and playing on an ipad, just like most other boys his age.

As you can just about see in the photo, Louie has a tracheostomy. This is because he has a rare genetic condition called SMARD- spinal muscular atrophy with respiratory distress.

Some background on SMARD from http://www.actsma.co.uk/page/smard :

SMARD is a neuromuscular disease which causes progressive weakness of the muscles and severe respiratory distress, due to paralysis of the diaphragm, which tends to be the first noticeable symptom.  This is caused by a breakdown of the link between the brain and the muscles due to affected nerve cells.

Some signs may be present before birth, with the mother noticing less fetal movement than that of a healthy baby.   Most SMARD patients will experience respiratory failure within their first six months of life, and go on to require artificial ventilation.  Symptoms seem to appear in reverse order to that of SMA Type 1, with respiratory problems coming first, followed by severe muscle weakness, especially in the lower limbs.  

Health typically deteriorates very quickly by the age of 2, but there is such a range of severity that different cases are picked up at different ages and progression can vary greatly

 Both Louie's mum and dad carry a mutation of the SMARD gene, which only 1 in 50,000 people do. Charlie does not have the gene. The condition is progressive and life limiting and there is no cure. Louie needs round-the-clock care, and despite the demanding nature of his condition, he is happy and content.

 The condition does not affect Louie's brain, and as he grows older he is desperate to communicate with those around him, but he cannot talk. His family are currently trying to raise funds for him to have a piece of equipment called a Tobii Eyegaze . The Eyegaze is a special computer which will give Louie the ability to communicate using his eyes. If he has this computer, he can communicate with his parents and his nurses and carers, he can tell them if he is happy or sad, or uncomfortable, and he can have improved quality of life. It will also mean he can interact with Charlie as he grows up. He will also be able to tell his mum and dad what he wants to do, for example, go to the cinema, or just stay home and watch a film. Something that you wouldn't normally give a second thought to, is such a big deal for a toddler like Louie. Unfortunately there is not funding for this, so his family has to raise £6,600 in order to get the Eyegaze.

As you can imagine, this is very important to Louie and his parents. You can take a look at their fundraising page here and find out more about the campaign. You can also share this on social media and across Blogger. The more people find out about SMARD and Louie's campaign, the better.

For everyone with a rare disease or condition, Rare Disease Day is excellent and a chance to spread the word and raise awareness. The website can be found here and they are also on Twitter- @rarediseaseday

2015: The year of the invisible illness puzzle

Anyone who has read this blog before (and if you haven't then welcome) will know that I've spent a lot of time wondering what's wrong with me. That's fairly normal for anyone who has an invisible illness. Having nothing noticeably wrong means you can't point it out to a doctor or a friend or your mum and say "look at this, this is the problem."

There are so many pieces to put together when you are essentially self-diagnosing. A lot of invisible illnesses aren't properly looked after, especially in the NHS. It's hard to get a referral, hard to get a follow-up, hard to find a doctor who knows enough to truly make a difference. It's hard full stop.

There are thankfully a lot of resources out there, which means the many people who are piecing together a puzzle have some help. It's not always the best way though, but you do what you need to. After another confusing medical appointment last week which left me with more questions than answers, I decided that 2015 has to be the year. This has to be the year it happens. I need to get answers. 

It's really difficult to face up to things sometimes, particularly when it's something like health. Your health essentially is a belonging of yours. It has a mind of its own and if can rule your life. For people that are much more aware of their health, not knowing exactly what the real issue is can take so much away from life. 

For example, I have bad joint pains, urinary tract issues, headaches, sight problems, dislocations, bad bruising, poor immunity, and now bleeding under my skin. Hypermobility- diagnosed. Ehlers-Danlos- as good as diagnosed. But what else? The doctor I saw this week was unsatisfied by what I knew. He didn't think that was it. He was confused and needs assistance from another doctor. Another referral. Maybe the 20th. 

So now the waiting game. Again. But I'm not satisfied with waiting. Instead of waiting, I'm going to get back into heavy research, use my fortunate resources (doctor colleagues and friends) and go back to all of those who have examined, prodded and poked me. I think 2015 is time for some clarity. Everyone who knows how I feel, and there are plenty of those people, will probably have had similar feelings when the new year reigned in. Time for change. Time to try and make life more comfortable, less painful and healthier. I hope those who feel less positive can change that. I hope time. Particularly time that is the next 12 months, can change that. 

5 things invisible illness sufferers do better than anyone

1) Be tired
When people get in from a long, hard day and kick their shoes off to a chorus of 'I AM SO TIRED', they really have no idea. Lots of invisible illnesses, like POTs, fibro, EDS and HMS, come with fatigue. It's not so much feeling tired, as feeling like you absolutely have to be laying down with your eyes shut immediately or you will just fall over. It just hits you like a train. There you are, going about your business, working, gardening, reading, whatever, and BAM. You are so absolutely exhausted it's as if you've not been to bed in a year. Your head feels like it's been pumped full of hot air and twice the weight it was a minute ago. Now that is tired. Really tired.

2) Poker face
There are times when you are doing something normal, say sitting at a desk at work, when suddenly a body part will explode with burning pain for no apparent reason. No one around would ever know, because you just smooth over it, try not to move, keep calm, and carry on. Dealing with chronic pain leaves you a good poker face. You can be feeling a lot of 'OUCH OH MY GOD' on the inside, but on the outside you look cool, calm and collected. Of course sometimes you can't contain it, and the bad days are bad, but you can regularly look utterly normal, perhaps even really well, when in reality everything hurts and you can't get out of your chair or even lift a cup. You'll have to be forgiven for the slight twinge of crazy when you flash someone a smile.

3) Appreciate
The good days are there to be used and used bloody well. Being cornered by illness and feeling like it dictates life awakens you to a sense of gratitude and appreciation most people don't know exist. Feeling almost brought to tears when a hot water bottle starts to ease your back ache or barely believing your luck when you can have a day out with family makes you thankful. SO thankful. You appreciate everything a million times more than is logical and really routine, average things can make your day.

4) Sleep badly
Sleeping badly is not taking an hour to drift off and waking up a few times. Sleeping badly is taking time to find a position you can lay in, waiting to see if you can stay in that position, hoping you can fall asleep, not falling asleep because you have to continually move, waking up in need of painkillers or to take medication, dislocating a joint from rolling over.....The list goes on. Chronic illness and sleep is a battle and no one fights quite like sufferers of these conditions. Painsomnia. Not fun.

5) Play it down
I used to wonder sometimes how people would feel if I could transfer all my symptoms to them for just ten minutes. Dealing with invisible illness, such as Ehlers-Danlos hypermobility, can test the patience of you and everyone around you. More often than not you probably play it down. Tell people you're okay and carry on with day-to-day life when really it's not okay at all. You're in pain, you're distressed, anxious, stressed, forgetful, brain-fogged and so tired. It's tougher than anyone can imagine, but playing it down to seem not so bad at all becomes quite the talent.