Keeping up with Christmas and a chronic illness

Christmas is exhausting. There's the lengthy build up that seems to get longer every year. The present buying, the decorating, the arrangements, the logistics, the invites, the festivities and the expectation to do everything and be everywhere. And this is just Christmas in general.

Doing all of this when you're battling chronic illness can feel like climbing a festive mountain where the fairy lights aren't quite so twinkly and the spirit isn't quite so cheerful. When you enter the festive period already exhausted and burnt out, it's hard to come up with that second burst of energy. That last, bright spark you need to bring the year to a close in an explosion of seasonal joy can feel out of reach.

Many chronic illnesses see their sufferers having to deal with fatigue. There are days when even showering is too much of an ask, let alone shopping, wrapping, visiting, cooking and going for drinks. There's also the fact you need to manage expectations. It's sad but at Christmas time and during other big events, managing a chronic illness becomes like managing a business. You need to be able to tell people what you can do, what outputs are realistic and how much work you can contribute. Yet even letting people know all of this in advance can't shake off the feeling of being a general let down.

Many families and friendship groups will rally around their beloved chronic illness warriors this Christmas, They'll make them feel at ease, help them out with their tasks, organise their socialising and help them do as much as possible- but not everyone has that support network.

If you're feeling isolated and alone during Christmas because your chronic illness doesn't allow you to live out the full festive pantomime- please remember a few things.

1) Christmas isn't everything and while it will return year after year, laying out exactly what you can handle rather than making yourself feel worse is a good foundation to lay. People are inherently good and you might be surprised by what a short, heartfelt explanation of your feelings to someone might achieve.

2) If you are stuck in a rut with family and friends not understanding that Christmas is a big deal in terms of symptoms for you, then maybe it is time to change that. What can you do to make them understand? If you don't feel able to face up to dealing with it now, can you spend next year trying to better educate those around you? It might not feel like it when you are feeling really down in the dumps but it's likely people do want to help and it's also likely they'd feel pretty bad if they knew what their expectations and judgement was doing to your state of mind.

3) Have you turned to a network of people who can understand? There are so many online and social networks now dedicated to not only chronic illness but even certain illnesses and some symptoms. These are fantastic, often very supportive and helpful groups who welcome in new faces, even if you are online and largely anonymous. Sometimes all it takes to lift spirits is to connect with someone who knows how you feel and can share the burden.

Christmas is supposed to be a time of coming together and appreciating loved ones and it would be amazing if those who have to deal with a chronic illness day in, day out, could experience this to the full. There is much more to be done in the chronic illness world to bring a better understanding and level of edcuation to the wider population and this is very difficult. There are so many chronic illnesses that have different and very far reaching consequences, but for those who know what it's like to feel ill more than they ever feel well, here's hoping that each Christmas can become easier and more loving.

Having a chronic illness and being a student- some tips to help you settle in to uni life

So you've just started university. Freshers is over and you're now settling into lectures, meeting endless new people, and getting used to the new transition in your life. Uni can be hard on people. It's a lot to adapt to and a lot to get used to. There's the pressures around drinking and going out, the new stresses of handling finances and trying to find your place in a sea of new friends.

All of this on top of having a chronic illness to handle can probably feel like too much. Uni might be, for a lot of students, a time of going out, burning the candle at both ends, but also a time of little structure, meaning sleep patterns are all over the place and a routine is almost non-existent.

There are ways of working around this to help you feel more able to have a regular experience as a student, but to also care for yourself properly at the same time. Being a student can be an amazing, exhilarating time and getting the most out of it can be very positive for those of us with chronic health problems.

First of all, even though this sounds like something you're likely to stick to for three days before getting bored- make yourself a sleep schedule. I'm not talking for the night, because I've been to uni and I know nights out and staying up til morning are just part of the package. I mean naps, mornings where you can sleep longer, evenings where you can get a couple of hours before you begin socialising. Just sit down with your timetable and see what you can get out of it. Making the time for naps mean you won't feel like you're just falling asleep when you shouldn't be, or leave you feeling guilty about not getting on with other things. If it's officially nap time, it's nap time!

Tell your friends. Don't try and weather the storm by saying nothing and having people ask you sideways questions about you pulling out of events, needing to stay home and rest or just needing a bit of help with everyday tasks. Bring it up, explain it as much or as little as you want, but at least if you let them know, they are aware there is a problem. Good friends won't judge you on your ability, so there's also a scope for making sure you are settling into the right crowd.

Alert the uni. You may not have a condition that requires adaptations to living space or assistance with classes and getting about, but you never know what they might have to offer you. These aren't just places you go to for taking exams, learning to cook more than pasta and hopefully getting a degree at the end. Universities try and create a life for you, and it's worth looking into their occupational health services and speaking to someone about support. You can often have access to counsellors, which for a lot of people struggling to adapt to this new world you've landed in, could be just what you need.

This might sound a bit out there and like something you wouldn't even want to consider, but is there a society at your campus for people with chronic health conditions? They exist. I've researched it and places have them, if they aren't long standing. If you are the sort of person who might be inclined to set something up, please do. You could be the helping hand a lot of others who are struggling need to start enjoying their life. Meeting like-minded people who can relate to your health, chronic pain and spoonie struggles could make all the difference to your student experience.

I've had a few requests about writing student posts, and hopefully more will follow that will prove helpful, but feel free to request anything in the comments! Good luck students. I envy you, uni really can be the best time of your life.