Learning to grin and bear it

Those who live with chronic pain know that it isn’t about stopping it, it’s about learning to manage it. Pain management is no easy feat. It can be a long, daily struggle that takes over life. Life is pain and pain is life. This is not exactly a mantra that anyone wants to live by. The thing with pain is that it can consume you. It’s important to remember that pain is a part of life and although at times it definitely can, it doesn’t rule you. A lesson all those with hypermobility syndrome, Ehlers Danlos, fibro and other chronic conditions learn.

Those who live with painful conditions, especially ones where treatment is difficult to receive in general, it becomes a case of how you work around it. When I first got symptoms of hypermobility syndrome, it was painful to breathe. Shallow breathing became my norm, because I just learned to deal with it. Working full time was hard, not knowing what all this pain was and being referred to people who ultimately, by no fault of their own, couldn’t help me. One thing I remember most clearly from the first year, was learning to grin and bear it.

It took a while. Lots of painkillers were consumed and injections injected and examinations carried out. It interrupted work and put me in a low mood and probably made those close to me think I was mad, or attention seeking, or a hypochondriac. You know how it is. Soon though, I stopped using my right shoulder as much as possible. No more bags, no more carrying shopping, no swimming, no running, no stretching. The less movement, the less pain. I breathed differently, typed differently, slept differently.

For some people, the pain is in more than one place. I only had to deal with one body part at a time when the pain was at its worst and I am so thankful for that. I don’t know  how others carry on when they are in pain practically all over. They do carry on though. As much as you can, you get on with it. I remember thinking of the pain as a tag-along. Obviously unwelcome, but soon it just existed. Sometimes there, sometimes (on good days) not there at all, sometimes really painful, sometimes not too bad.

I think you do learn to exist alongside it. I'm not saying you make peace entirely, but you do what you can to still be you. Some people may not be able to carry on and be as active as others, but I'm sure they do as much as possible. I'm not sure if you can actually overcome pain, maybe some people think you can. But I do believe, to some extent, sometimes, you can grin and bear it.

I worked through my worst time, not always all day and sometimes I would leave to have appointments and see doctors, but I did go in. I eventually made it to my favourite music festival (thanks to very strong friends who could lug my stuff as well as their own), went on holiday and moved on with my career. I used to wake up and get so angry about the stupid, throbbing pain in my shoulder and back that I didn't even think about normal everyday things. But you come a long way when you're up against it. The body can still support you, even when it seems to be doing all it can to go against you. Now, most  of the time, normal things like dog walking, holidays and commuting and working aren't affected by pain. The times they are, I like to just lay on the floor and make some jokes until the episode subsides. I obviously move to the bed if it lasts too long though. Comfort is king.

Travel Survival Kit- Hypermobility can't clip your wings

Who doesn’t love holidays? What should be an exciting little stint away in the sun (or snow, if you’re that way inclined) can turn out differently when you have some extra baggage. Carrying around an invisible disease like hypermobility syndrome is stressful, painful and often off-putting.

Most sufferers will have there home set up in a way that means they can get themselves comfortable, access things they need easily and not to have to worry about coming unstuck in an emergency. “I need to be picked up off the floor, my hips has come out and I can’t move.” Happy holidays everyone!

I’ve done a fair bit of travelling since I was diagnosed and can remember dreading the first plane journey I did PD (post-diagnosis, for fun). I had just about got used to sleeping without being woken up by extreme shoulder pain and started worrying about different beds and coaches and plane seats and train journeys. It’s not fun, but you realise you just can’t help it. Most savvy people will pack their painkillers and so on, but if you’re going somewhere a bit unconventional or backpacking, there’s plenty of objects for your survival kit you might never have imagined.

Three years and I am happy to say I flit away without barely a second thought now. My pain is well controlled, which is very fortunate and helps, but I now have a hit-list of important joint crime-busting items.

Cotton wool- This sounds weird, but if you are travelling with a rucksack and you know you’ll need to carry it a fair bit, buy yourself a few of these and put them under the straps. They’re the perfect cushion. I have a travel cushion, but it's awkward to carry and I don't find it that comfortable after five minutes, so don't bother with it.Also cotton wool is SO handy, for like nail varnish emergencies and such. You can pick them up for about 40p so it doesn’t matter if you chuck them.

Deep heat and freeze- Probably obvious to anyone who has hypermobility. Our muscles work much harder to pick up the slack from joints so when the aching it starts, it really starts. I find only the Boots brand really helps me, and others I have spoken to about muscle pain relief have always had a preferred brand. Take it with you. I forgot mine when I went to Thailand and couldn’t find anything nearly as good as what I would use at home.

A big thick jumper- The bigger the better. Hopefully you won’t need to wear said jumper on your lovely sunny holiday, but if you can fit it in the suitcase, I recommend. You can fold them up to add an extra pillow, lay on them to cushion your back, put them between you and a rucksack, rest them around your neck on planes or just sit on them when you need something soft. Jumper-pillow-cushions have been a lifesaver for me at festivals over the last five years. Hotels often only provide one crap pillow and if you’re in a hostel you might not be able to get another. Also, if you do get cold…

Massage balls- They look a bit like colourful sea creatures. You can get them on amazon for about £6 for three and they are definitely worth it. They’re also small so you can chuck them in your handbag. Hotel beds and particular hostel beds are not always forgiving on sore joints. All you have to do with these is stand against a wall or sit up straight on a chair with a back and roll the ball around. If you get particularly good at it you can even get knots out.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/PhysioRoom-Spiky-Massage-Stress-Reflexology/dp/B005LJVREI/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1411139373&sr=8-4&keywords=back+massager+ball

Don’t forget your trainers- Earlier this year I was in Paris with my friend and we walked miles and miles. I packed a nice pair of shoes for looking nice and wore dolly shoes to the airport. Two days later, there I am in a Parisian McDonald’s sitting crippled over some chips and a coffee. Never again will I not take trainers away with me. Even though I had been untroubled for weeks before this, I was troubled for weeks after just because my shoes didn’t support me properly. It was even warm enough for the nice shoes anyway. Le sigh.

I spent last week at a music festival in Croatia and spent the last three nights using a big hoodie as an extra pillow. When back ache calls, you gotta answer with something. Hypermobility is a pushy illness, but there is plenty out there to help shut it up. 

Oh and Croatia by the way, is BEAUTIFUL.