What uses up your spoons the most?

This is something that for me, has only really become a problem in the last year. It hasn’t been a struggle I have dealt with since my symptoms began, like a lot of other chronic health suffers have, and I am grateful for that at least. I am more tired now than ever, but of course I am, because I now have a demanding job, work hard, have a bustling social life, a relationship and the responsibilities that come with being an adult. Add the chronic health issues into this and it is an exhausting bundle of things.

Living with chronic pain and dealing with an abundance of symptoms every day is incredible, and people who do it, no matter what the parameters of their doing it are, should be rewarded endless praise and support. Not that they need it though, spoonies know they have to live their life, we don’t ask for a medal on a daily basis, we just get on with it.

*Just in case anyone reading is this unaware (like I was until about a year ago) spoonie is a term used to describe people with chronic illness. The idea behind it being that we have a certain number of spoons each day, and these get taken up by various activities until they run out. Once they do run out, essentially the person has little left in the way of energy and tolerance.*

So this is, for me, and I would be interested to hear what others find, the list of things that use the most spoons.

-           Showering

-          Fitting in exercise

-          Commuting home from work

-          Cooking dinner

-          Going out after work

-          Chores (especially hovering, washing and changing bed sheets)

-          Engaging in long conversations, particularly those at work

-          Drying hair

-          Reading (weird, but it exhausts me!)

-          Getting ready for a day/night (hair, clothes, make up etc)

-          Shopping (food or clothes)

My list is getting longer and sometimes I sub things in and out. Showering seems to take up so much energy and the thought of it just makes me want to bury myself in my duvet. I know it is a very popular one among those who are trying to preserve spoons, and to the outside world probably sounds bizarre.

What uses up most of your spoons? 

8 signs you are living the chronic life

Being chronically ill, as I have written so many times on this blog, is a way of life. What it isn't though, is your whole life. I think most people who suffer with such conditions know that there is a lot of importance in making sure you don't let health problems consume you. I try to make sure mine don't but taking a light hearted approach where possible.

Don't get me wrong though, there are still days I want to scream. But anyway, here's something a bit light hearted to go with the chronic life hashtag I've been enjoying keeping tabs on lately.

1) You often find yourself wondering if you are on fire because yet again, you've slapped on too much Deep Heat and certain parts of your body feel like naked flames.

2) You can often be found blankly staring at people mid-conversation and struggling to remember where/who you are due to chronic fatigue. Great if you want certain people to not speak to you again, not so ideal if you're in a board meeting have 12 people staring at you.

3) You have four meals a day. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and meds.

4) You are tired. Tired is you. You are one.

5) You have been in the shower and started wondering if you could live a full life if you never got out. Getting in was effort enough, Getting out doesn't seem plausible.

6) You really enjoy small victories like taking off your bra with one swift movement because you can bend in unnatural ways. YAY HYPERMOBILE JOINTS.

7) You haven't had a good nights sleep since the 90s.

8) You have a super power where you can always be more tired than everyone else.

EDS awareness month- Taking a break from chronic life

So It's been a while since a post appeared on this blog. I've been distancing myself from thinking about EDS and everything that comes with it lately.

I've been having a lot of appointments about symptoms that may or may not be related, so I can't completely forget about it.

As it's EDS awareness month I really wanted to write about stress. Being chronically ill, as this blog has covered many times, comes with enormous amounts of stress. My stress reached a scarily high level recently, spurred on by worrying about my health and waiting for results and doctors to reassure me. Chronic pain is basically impossible to have without also having a lot of stress. The combination of everything you have to deal with is a perfect storm of mental unrest.

Something I feel has become important to me and that I feel people should try if they can, is creating some distance. It's not that easy for everyone, because my symptoms are much milder than a lot of others, but it can be done. I started by hiding groups I had joined on Facebook, and not opening links about sad stories of death and patients suffering or how the new government will impact healthcare. I just couldn't read anymore. I also stopped talking about it. Just for a week, I didn't mention it to anyone at all. I still have pains and aches and massive clouds of brain fog that I would usually moan about but I decided to try and remove myself from being a person with EDS.

It worked. I felt calmer, less worried, less scared and started sleeping a little better. I also stopped googling things related to EDS and checking Facebook groups and Twitter for symptoms that sounded similar to mine.

My geneticist mentioned that a lot of people with EDS become fixated on finding people similar and with that comes more anxiety and more concern about symptoms you might not even have yet. I told her all about this blog and how much I had gained from it, and also about how I felt I was too wrapped up in it.

Her advice of having a short break was completely ignored at first. I basically just continued as I was and carried on getting more and more worked up. I almost cancelled hospital appointments in fear of more bad news and that's when I decided it was time.

'Removing yourself' from something that pretty much runs your life is no easy task, but even if you can do it for a day, it's so refreshing. Hiding social media groups or not contributing to awareness for one week doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone needs a break sometimes. We have breaks from work and breaks from people, so since chronic illness is a full time burden, surely we're entitled to a break of sorts from that too?

10 important things to remember when you're having a bad pain day

1) Think about how much your body hurts right now and how much you have to deal with. Really think about it. Now think about how amazing you are and remember that you fight a battle every SINGLE day but still come out the other side. Basically, you're a bloody warrior.

2) Films, TV and good books exist to give us somewhere to escape to. Use them well.

3) You might be seeing a bit more of your bed than you want to at the moment, but imagine how much you miss it when you're at work or busy with life. Just snuggle up and relax, you deserve it.

4) You can write about it. Just write down how you feel. Write down how frustrated you are. Write down a list of things you'll do when you feel better. Writing is definitely a kind of therapy.

5) It might not seem like it, but there are people who know what you're going through. You really aren't alone. It's worth trying online forums or Twitter communities.

6) There will be a better day soon. There will.

7) Fresh air makes a big difference. When you're stuck inside it can become claustrophobic and miserable quite fast, try and sit in a garden or even by an open window and take in a bit of the outside.

8) Cuddles are free.

9) Remember the next time you are out and about and feeling better to pick up some stuff to make home a little brighter. Flowers, candles, postcards, bright cushions or even giant homemade sign to remind yourself how strong you are. Having a more pleasant environment makes the pain times a little easier to put up with.

10) Just to re-iterate- YOU ARE QUITE AMAZING. It really is quite important to keep that in mind.

Rare Disease Day- The continuing story of Annabelle and Vascular Ehlers Danlos syndrome

I wrote about little Annabelle for rare disease day last year, and as much as there are lots of things I could I have opted for this year, I wanted to do another post. I have followed her story online for a few years now after coming across a twitter account her parents run. There have been a few stories in the media similar to Annabelle's (known as AJ or Bella) but overall, as VEDS is a rare disease, coverage is rare too. 

Her wonderful family set up a registered charity in her name, and now raise awareness through social media, events, their website, fundraising and media coverage in their local area. On Rare disease day this year they are launching a new website. 

Stories like AJ's and the work that charities like AJ'S Challenge do are so important in the rare disease community. Having just turned 6, this little lady is juggling both her conditions and being a normal child, and this is the case for many children with rare but serious conditions world wide. 

Here's a little more info about AJ and the charity: 

Annabelle's Challenge is a UK registered charity raising awareness of Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (vascular EDS) to both the general public and medical profession to help aid an early diagnosis and prevent misdiagnosis of vascular EDS and to support patients who are affected by the condition.

The aim of Annabelle's Challenge is to raise awareness, support patients and families affected by vascular EDS and to encourage the medical profession to progress further with research into finding a cure.

At just 3 years of age Annabelle was diagnosed in December 2012 with Vascular EDS, it is a life threatening and incurable genetic condition and is the most serious variation of EDS, weakening the collagen in her tissues of the body and making her prone to possible arterial or organ rupture.

A torn artery can cause internal bleeding, stroke, or shock, and is the most common cause of death in patients with this disorder. Although serious problems are rare in childhood, more than 80% of vascular EDS sufferers experience severe complications by the age of 40.

Annabelle also suffers from rare blood disorder von Willebrands, with most children an accidental knock might only leave a slight mark but for Annabelle she comes off much worse with either excessive bleeding, deep bruising or even open trauma wounds requiring medical attention.

Her blood does not clot very easily and when factoring in the vascular EDS we have to watch her every move, not easy for anyone with a six year old that just wants to lead a normal life like any other child of her age.

So far this year Annabelle is doing great but we can’t ignore the fact she is a ticking time bomb, at any time day or night she could suffer from a spontaneous and ‘significant’ event which could end up in a visit to A&E or sadly worse case it could prove to be fatal without any warning.

To help raise awareness of the condition around Rare Disease Day, Annabelle has recently taken to the field with her local football club Bury FC as their mascot. During the match day visit Annabelle met with the manager and players and raised awareness of Vascular EDS before proudly walking onto the pitch with the players in front of the crowd.

Please do check out the new website http://www.annabelleschallenge.org/ and find out more about Ehlers Danlos and the challenges faced by parents of children with rare disease. Events like Rare Disease Day give patients, families, friends and doctors a chance to have a voice and make changes, so please share this in the hope it can help another parent, person, child, friend or doctor put together a puzzle. 

The power of the online community in healthcare

So everyone knows and has been told a hundred times over to never Google your symptoms. Don't go online and try and work out what's wrong with you, it'll probably be wrong and misled. But what about when you can't get the support you need from doctors or clinics? This is the issue that faces thousands, probably realistically millions, of people worldwide with chronic and rare diseases and conditions. 

The internet, particularly social media, is now an integral part of most people's daily lives. We share and post all sorts, from our breakfast to our emotions. Those people who have symptoms that don't add up, or know they suffer from conditions that aren't adequately cared for by medical professionals are making waves online. I first found this when I was diagnosed with hypermobility syndrome. I didn't get a great deal of support or much useful advice and was soon discharged from all clinics, despite the issue not being under control. My symptoms then got worse and more started slowly appearing and I realised I most likely had another condition, which doctors agreed with but again, not enough support. 

My story is not unusual, and I ended up turning to online forums, Facebook groups and Twitter feeds for answers. I found charities online that had growing followings on social media and plenty of people willing to share experiences. I've learnt so much from these groups and websites and found ways to handle my condition that have helped. That was also how this blog was born. I wanted to put my journalism and communications degree to good use for something that mattered to me. Since then I have built up my own online community. This blog now has a Twitter feed: @ChronicHealth1, I have lots of followers who share my condition online and I use Facebook groups and forums to read about research studies and learn about the ways other people handle flare ups. 

Of course, the internet can be a dangerous place for an unwell person to frequent. Things spiral quickly and patients end up fearing the worse. I've done it myself plenty of times and always regretted it. If you are using online resources to handle a condition or find out what might be wrong, start by looking up reputable charities or societies and see if they are on social media. Also consult your GP if you strongly suspect something, don't just decide that you definitely have it and start trying to come up with treatments. It's really not worth it. However these online communities for diagnosed conditions are so helpful and valuable and many people rely on them as a source of emotional support. I see so many comforting stories and useful links posted on my Twitter feed everyday that I share and sometimes apply to me. 

There's a reason online community management is growing as a job in healthcare. These resources are important and powerful and when used properly, monitored and maintained they can be of great use. 

Anyone reading this with hypermobility, EDS, fibro or other related conditons, check out @ehlersdanlosuk and @HMSAcharity on Twitter, or look into the hastag #spoonie. Type your condition into the Facebook search bar and you will most likely find a group to join. 

Support can come in all shapes and sizes and in 2015, that can include your laptop or smartphone. Just try and be sensible. 

5 awkward hypermobile situations- Part 3

So part 3 of this series focuses a bit on things that other people do that cause stress. And stress in general. I've had number 5 and 4 happen to me recently, so here is my rant for the week:

1) Trouble eating? Jaw dislocation and pain in hypermobility is not uncommon. Sitting at work or having lunch with friends or even eating dinner at home on the sofa- there is no ideal situation to have something violently click in your mouth and the food to fall out. Sadly yes, this does come from experience. Who doesn't love half-eaten digestive biscuit in their lap in a busy office?

2) Bags. Now, a lot can be said for deciding to use a small, lightweight, sensible bag. Good for your back, easier to carry, less chance of injury. However it isn't always possible and girls in paticular LOVE their large bags. I'm thinking a lot about suitcases here. I have had some true nightmares with them. Dragging for more than 1 minute causes bad shoulder pain, picking them up causes bad shoulder pain, forcing them shut causes, (yep you guessed it) bad shoulder pain. Relying on the kindness of strangers or your friends to lug your bag down the stairs at a train station becomes a key part of travelling. That or just taking no clothes away with you and hoping for the best.

3) Lifts. The hypermobile community and stairs are not the greatest of friends. Having ankle, knee and hip issues means stairs are a big problem in some cases, particularly massive flights of them. So you opting to use the lift makes sense, and you might when planning ahead think this will be fine. However, where is the lift? Why is a ten minute walk away? Why is it out service? I have to really let the people with buggies go before me don't I? It's surprising how hostile people with 'life entitlement' can get.

4) 'Would you like a photo madam?'  Limping, using crutches, being in a wheelchair, having to receive help. Anyone who has ever used an aid in public without a cast to explain things, or needed to use a wheelchair will probably have dealt with their share of staring strangers. It becomes it increasingly difficult when you're already frustrated to not vent your anger at people who gawk at you. Maybe we should carry around Polaroid cameras for people to have pictures?

5) Show us a trick then? Explaining your condition to someone and taking time to educate them to be asked 'ohh! Can I see a party trick?' is enough to set even the most patient person off. Not taking a frankly aggressive tone when you explain that NO you won't start bending your joints and causing yourself pain and possible dislocations just to show off, can be quite the feat.

This blog now has it;'s own Twitter feed! I wanted to make a profile for it where I can concentrate more on sharing relevant stuff. You can connect with me @ChronicHealth1 for the blog and for further hypermobile musings and lots of talk about food @laurenrellis

Why a can-do attitude is so important

Battling a chronic illness means that you are constantly faced with  things that you can't do, or join in with or just fear doing. When you are in pain, exhausted, emotionally drained and just generally not feeling well, it can become almost impossible to pick yourself up and go about life in the way you want to.

In some cases, patients are simply too poorly to carry out normal every day tasks, let alone embark on careers, holidays and social events. This is a whole other battle in itself. However, facing an illness where you do have your good days, and you can manage the pain and symptoms to some extent, mean you have these fleeting times of feeling like you can do it. Whatever it is, being traveling, a weekend away, going to work for a full week or just having a night out with friend, you feel able and ready to take it on.

Hypermobility syndrome is a limiting condition, and as I have written many times before, impacts life in a big way for those who have it. It's important when you have plans, no matter how big or small, to plan. You need to ensure you have treatments with you, be it painkillers or a hot water bottle and that you have plenty of support available should you need it. I am a big planner, and it has meant that I have been able to do so much that three years ago, I would have thought impossible.

When I booked a trip to Isle of Skye with my friends, I was in the first instance really excited, and then began to worry. We decided to drive, and believe me, it is FAR. We were in the car for 14 hours going up, with a few stops to eat and stretch. Needless to say, I needed a heat pad, lots of leg room, ibuprofen and some serious relaxation during and after the journey.

Skye is very much a walking and scenery holiday. It's different to anything I would normally do and I accepted from the off I would be limited and went there with a nagging worry that I would really hurt myself or end up laid up in bed with a dislocated hip. However what I also went with was a can-do attitude, good trainers, a list of exercises and knowledge of what I can do and what i can't. Yes, I have to refrain from doing as much as my friends, but I can still do plenty. I can still go on days out and walks and travel around, I just have to do it for me, within my limits. So that's what I did. ( I also looked up and located the nearest A&E, because you know, life and all that.)

I did have to hang around on the side of a giant hill while everyone else went all the way to the top, which wasn't ideal, but I still went, and I still gave it a go and I got to take amazing photos and sort of play in some snow (let's be honest, snow isn't for the hypermobile). I needed help getting down and I had to take painkillers in the evening, but to be honest, I need this most days, sometimes even on stairs, so it wasn't much different.

I went out everyday, walked really far, climbed a bit, tasted whiskey, saw some rainbows, saw an eagle, saw a seal, drank lots of coffee and ate loads and I am so glad I did. I kept check of my joints and pain, used heat when I needed it, luckily had a friend with an electric massager, took hot baths and took everything slowly and carefully.

I mean , there was a hairy moment when I couldn't cross a river (I didn't realise this was going to be necessary as it wasn't on the walk list or map) and I had to rely on the patience and good will of my friends to help me, but despite the ten minutes of joint pain that followed and the back ache that evening, I felt good. Everyone felt a bit like an intrepid explorer, but I felt like I had conquered something more than a 9k trek.

Having an can-do attitude means I think more about things in advance and I come up with ideas of trips I want to do, places I want to go and friends I want to visit. I think foremost about the experience, and then I do the planning and logistics of doing these things with a condition. If I can't do them, i can't do them, at least I have other things floating around my head to keep me going. it'll never stop being frustrating, but it will also never rule my head.

When I was first diagnosed and in constant pain that was managed badly, all I wanted to do was lay in bed or in the bath. I stopped exercising and the idea of going away and being on a plane or in a car was laughable. Now though, I just think 'I can', until I realise I can't, and that's okay. The positive thoughts alone make a big difference. Sometimes just lounging on a sofa in front of a fire is enough of an experience.